Tip of the Day: Beware Hostile Warrior Artichokes

How to not end up with a mouthful of thorns, by picking a good artichoke.

I love artichokes, but they don't always love me. They are delicious and they are nutritious. I especially love roasted artichokes or spinach and artichoke dip.

What to look for in an artichoke:

• young
• tender
• tight
• squeaky

I had decided last week that I was going to make oven baked artichokes. I found the perfect recipe online. It was very simple and stayed true to the flavor of the artichoke. I doused my 'cut to size' artichokes with lemon juice, lovingly placed a crushed garlic clove and a pinch of salt in its heart, poured olive oil over it, and after wrapping it in aluminum foil let it bake in the oven for 1 1/2 hours.

Don't forget that when you enjoy artichokes, you are basically enjoying a giant thistle. Artichokes have nasty little thorns, because they don't really want to be eaten. They are out to get us! Luckily if you get young artichokes they haven't built up their anti-human defenses as much.

In my naiveté, having never made artichokes before, I had picked really old seasoned warrior artichokes. It was a battle even picking them out at the grocery store as they stabbed at my hands and tore my vegetable bag. I should have known that a vegetable putting up that much of a fight should probably be left alone.

Fast forward a few days after the grocery store and I have finished baking my artichokes. They smell DELICIOUS! A kind of nutty, sweet, and garlicky aroma fills the house. My excitement rises and my mouth awaits the feast. I unwrap them. I dig a spoon into the molten heart and take a bite. Chew... Chew... I stop. My mouth is now filled with little needle like thorns. Even the very heart of the artichoke has vicious little thorns. I believe I have failed and whip up quick open faced avocado sandwiches and salad, brooding over tasty yet terrifying artichokes.

I have found out that the artichokes I bought were much too old. I shouldn't have bought them in the first place. Younger artichokes would not have been so scary. Keep in mind that I was not oblivious to the thorns. I had carefully cut them all away and trimmed the stalk and the head. Unfortunately these artichokes were so mature that they had grown thorns on even the tiniest of petals within the heart.

The moral of the story is that you should not trust your grocery store and definitely do not buy old artichokes or you and your mouth will regret it. I have since learned from my father that a good artichoke for cooking should squeak when you squeeze it. Also the general rule of thumb 'that if it is heavier it is better' does not apply to all vegetables/fruit, especially artichokes. You want a nice young, tender, tight, and squeaky artichoke. I hope no one else shopping at that grocery store bought those artichokes and suffered the same disappointment I did. Just remember that you should always try your food before you serve it; if I hadn't everyone would have ended up with a painful mouth full of thorns. I don't recommend it.

Happy artichoke making all! Please share any of your cooking mishaps or tips for success!